Sunday, June 14th, 2009
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8:34 pm - attn: people who know anybody or have any connections at all in los angeles
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soooooooo.
needing a job in the L.A. area. like immediately. full time, part time, etc. whatever there is. somebody help plz.
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
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9:39 pm - facebook
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Everyone should go be on Facebook now and pay attention to everything I do, because I'm too lame and boring and lame to post any real content anymore and yet I still desperately need constant attention delivered to my Inbox in the form of e-mails notifying me that people have commented on things I have posted.
I'm working my second job at the bookstore right now. I am reading the book Our Guys, which is about a retarded high school girl who was tricked into having sex with like eight guys at her highschool, and they also shoved a baseball bat up her snatch apparently. They made a movie about it for TV that starred Heather Matarazzo.
There are tons of vintage spank mags for sale here. Like literal spank mags, about spankings. If I had more money right now I would buy some. One of them is called Maitresse and has a picture on the cover of a guy with saggy balls and a big gaping asshole bent over with a very angry Domme woman lording over him and snarling.
So yup. That's it.
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Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
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2:39 pm - slug bait
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Oh my god, Throbbing Gristle is playing two different shows in California in April, one in San Francisco and one here in L.A. and I'm going to go to both of them no matter what. I have no idea where I am going to get money to go to San Francisco but I'll fucking figure it out somehow because they're doing a different program there than they're doing at UCLA and I need to see them both.
I ate a cheeseburger and drank some wine. I bought this awesome bottle of wine at Target called Monogamy, and I was going to save it for a special occasion and drink it ironically to celebrate my destruction of society's morals, but then last night I decided that keeping wine in the house without drinking it was stupid and so I drank half the bottle in my room and marathonned the second half of 30 Rock until five in the morning.
I had a good Valentine's Day. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.
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Sunday, January 4th, 2009
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2:55 pm - devil eyes
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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
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2:08 am - DEVON ASHBY: CRIME FIGHTER
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oh my God, I think I totally just saved a chick from getting raped outside my apartment just now.
I didn't really do anything except call 911 and get the cops to come break it up but it was still exciting.
I SAVED THE DAY. I AM AWESOME.
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Monday, December 8th, 2008
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4:18 pm - This is what's for dinner, and if you don't like it, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
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People on yelp keep making veiled allusions to me in their negative reviews of my video store. Because they're jealous of me for having a job where I get to order takeout and drink beer and watch sleazy European pornography in front of children.
It's not my fault the economy died, guys. Please unleash your frustrations elsewhere.
I ate some liver today because I heard it's really good for you with all the vitamin A and stuff but I can understand why people make so many liver and onion jokes because it's pretty gross and has this weird texture.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, December 4th, 2008
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3:56 am - body magic
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
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2:29 pm - Have yourself a merry little christmas.
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My favorite Christmas song is "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," mainly for reasons having to do with TV cuz there was that kickass episode of X-Files where Mulder and Scully shoot each other and are like dragging themselves around and leaving snail trails of blood everywhere while that song plays, and also the second Mr. Hankey episode of South Park that aired right after Mary Kay Bergman killed herself where all the male characters stand around the Christmas tree and sing that song, and then they do a little montage of all the female characters not saying anything because they have no voice now.
So I decided to do a playlist this year that's nothing but different versions of that song, but there's like 9 million versions listed on allmusic.com and I only want the ones that are good, so I'm hoping people will read this and comment and recommend good versions to me that they've heard, like is there a hip hop version of that song? there totally has to be, right?
Here's what I have so far:
1. Frank Sinatra
2. Aimee Mann
3. Bright Eyes
4. John Denver and the Muppets
5. Twisted Sister
6. Mr. Hankey and the South Park cast
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Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
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11:16 am - goiter
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I'm on the schedule six nights a week at the video store now. Also, the guy who books in new arrivals is doing a European tour with his band right now, so I've been coming in early and entering new titles into the computer before my shift starts. So I'm there like all the fucking time now pretty much.
I had a good time on Sunday, though, because ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dr_ninjapants was in town and he bought us Indian food from the eternally swank East India Grill on La Brea, and then we hung out at our apartment and watched When Friendship Kills. He also gave us a gigantic Freddy Krueger poster to hang up in our living room, because Daryn does shit like that all the time because he's the best person ever invented.
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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11:27 pm - erection
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I need to learn how to do screencaps from DVDs.
I am dumb, so I don't know how to do this.
please someone give me pointers.
P.S. OBAMA WON YAYYYYY FUCK YA OMG etc.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
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4:06 pm - lamb tikka masala
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I've been adding all these blogs to my RSS feed that have stuff about baking and knitting and Farmer's Markets and other shit that I've never been interested in before.
I guess that terrifying "biological clock" thing finally started ticking maybe, or maybe I'm just not so ashamed to be female anymore now that I don't share a home with a walking shitstorm of grotesque associations between femininity and weakness.
Or I'm doing that thing that all women my age do who drop out of college and realize they're not good at anything and they're too fat to become strippers.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 31st, 2008
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10:05 am - Latin Crotch Rockets
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Sunday, October 26th, 2008
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9:42 pm - kaiju
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what the hell happened to that porn clip with the two guys dressed like pterodactyls getting blown by a naked blonde chick that used to be up on Pornotube?
Google isn't helping me, although I did find this alternate clip which is maybe just as good.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 24th, 2008
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11:12 pm - SONG LYRICS
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OH GOD WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SO BORING
All I have been doing lately is sitting around stuffing my face and being cynical.
I decided briefly to stop drinking because I had a few nights at work where I was drunk and angry all night and started being rude to customers for no reason. And then there was one night where I puked in the back of the store and had to clean it up, but that might or might not have been because of drugs I took before I went there.
Whenever things like this happen I start telling myself that I'm going through a vital character-building period of suckage designed specifically to make me a cooler person, but I'm starting to believe that that's a big pile of steaming horseshit and the real reason so many bad things happen to me is because I have a bad attitude and hate myself and choose to always do things that I know will fuck shit up. Maybe I should stop reading so much Flannery O'Connor.
I masturbated like four times today. Pretty excessive, even for me. Not exactly sure what the deal is.
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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
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11:04 am - hundred grand
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I know it's a bunch of fucked up consumerist bullshit, etc. but I'm eager for Christmas this year. Everything has been so shitty lately that I just want an excuse to wear flannel and drink hot chocolate and burn cinnamon incense while listening to like eight different versions in a row of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and mixing fudge.
We watched a bunch of episodes of First Person at work last night and one of them was the one with the autistic slaughterhouse lady who invented the machine that hugs you and I was like "I totally need one of those."
( My Christmas List )
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Sunday, October 19th, 2008
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4:10 pm - unemployable
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Today me and Adam went to the Farmer's Market in Hollywood and bought like five different types of cheese. We bought some other crap too (REALLY good strawberries) but Adam mainly wanted to go there to buy some goat cheese because he read about it on the Internet or something.
We ended up also buying some homemade mozarella and raw feta, and I bought a jar of Goat Yogurt because that's weird.
Then we went to my mom's house and I made banana bread and pumpkin muffins.
Due to our expensive and frivolous lifestyle we are now broke, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to go get a job at Target pretty soon and start wearing fucking khaki pants every day because I'm not smart, talented, likeable, sexy, or educated enough to find a job anywhere else.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 10th, 2008
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7:35 pm - Good Dick
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crazy times at the video store this evening.
That movie Good Dick is opening next door and all the video store stuff was shot in our store, so the cast and crew and probably some random nobodies are all coming over here after the first screening and having a party. (FREE BEER!!!!!)
Watch the trailer to catch a glimpse of the exciting place where I work:
I just saw David Cross out there!!
P.S. a scary stinky guy in a U.S. Army shirt with no hands and one eye missing is in here right now babbling insanely to himself about James Bond and it's really terrifying and fucked up.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
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11:14 pm - fuck you
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We moved into the apartment this weekend. None of our cupboards will close and a lot of the outlets don't work, but other than that it's awesome.
I dropped all my classes at the college so now I'm on the fast track to being a white trash loser for the rest of my life.
I'm depressed, drunk and sexually unfulfilled, but at least my throat doesn't hurt anymore.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, September 26th, 2008
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3:54 pm - Percocet, mon amour
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In a MUCH happier place today thanks to a much-needed switch in medication. fuck you, codeine.
Tomorrow is The Day of the Big Move. I'm really excited and nervous and happy to be getting out of here. It's hard to be articulate when I'm so overwhelmed by positive emotion but maybe everything will be really stressful tomorrow or something and then I'll be able to talk more coherantly about it afterward.
Right now I'm going to take a nap and then I'm going to watch Death Wish 3.
I ate a chili dog earlier. It was good.
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Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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5:59 am - Dictyophora indusiata
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